My baby died.  Three words that even when I speak them out loud now, still totally and completely destroy me to my core.  Everywhere I seem to look there are babies.  Babies on the TV, babies being born to friends, babies in the supermarket, babies at the bus stop.  Yet, my baby never came home with us.  There are still moments in each and every day where the shock of the fact that Phoebe is no longer with us still takes my breath away.  My legs lock to the floor and the reality of this very real existence for us causes me to ground to a halt.  A year on and the shock and trauma of losing our much wanted daughter is still very real and very raw.