I have been talking about decorating our sitting room since we moved in (Yes, I know that was over two years ago!), but I hadn’t quite got around to it yet.  We decorated (I say “we”, I definitely mean my husband) our bedroom before Christmas and used Farrow & Ball’s “Wevet”.  It instantly changed the light and feel in the room, so I knew it was the right shade for the sitting room too.  I can never quite get over how dark some parts of this house are; it’s facing the wrong way and I just think some Victorian houses have a tendency to feel a bit dingy sometimes.  With that in mind, I was sold on Wevet.

After nearly a year away from my job on maternity leave, I finally gave my notice in this week (Breathes out huge sigh of relief and pent up anxiety!).   I thought about this decision long and hard, it was not something I took lightly, and I can tell you that it kept me awake many nights worrying about what I would be throwing away.  After a particularly difficult Christmas and an equally bad start to January,  it dawned on me; there wasn’t really a “choice” at all. The answer was already in me, I wasn’t able to go back.

It always surprises me how many people cannot quite bring themselves to actually say out loud that Teddy died.  It often gets referred to as “What happened to you.” or “After what you’ve been through.”  I feel as though people try so hard to protect me from something that there is no hiding from; and something that I don’t want to be protected from.  Teddy died; he was here, he was so very loved, and then we lost him.

North Cornwall has to be one of my favourite places to retreat to in the UK.  After Teddy died it was the first place we fled to in an effort to rest and recuperate.  I think we lasted about ten days at home after returning from hospital before we packed our bags and headed South West.  We were well and truly fed up of feeling trapped in the house and just staring at each other’s tired/ crying faces.  So we thought we would have a change of scenery, escape from the reality for a few days, and just stare at the sea (Couldn’t escape the tired/ crying faces though, I’m afraid!).